What Growing Up With My Mom Taught Me About Home

I was 14, maybe 15, when I realized my mom was not just my mom. She was also my financial planner, my chef, my counselor, and the person who somehow kept the lights on while I complained about not having the right sneakers.

If you grew up in a house like mine, you know the drill. You learn to read a grocery receipt like it is a sacred text. You learn that “we will figure it out” is not a plan but a hope. And you learn that when she says “I am fine,” she means “I am exhausted, but I do not want you to worry.”

Working at 16

So I got a job at 16. Not because I wanted to, but because I watched her work double shifts and still come home to help with homework I had already finished. If I could pay my own phone bill and my own teenage expenses, that was one less thing on her plate.

Working at 16 teaches you a lot. Customers are not always right, but they are always customers. Time moves slower when you are mopping a floor at 10 p.m. on a school night. And $7.25 an hour is not a living wage, but it is a start.

I did not have a car, so I biked to work every day, rain or shine. That bike got me to work, to school and anywhere else I needed to go. When we needed groceries, I could only bring home what fit in my backpack or balanced on the handlebars. I learned to prioritize. If there was a shift meal, I took it.

The unspoken math

In a one-income household, everything is a negotiation with the world. A sport costs money. A school trip costs money. Eating something other than what was on sale costs money. You do not resent it. You adapt. You ask for less and appreciate more.

I remember handing her my first paycheck, maybe $600 for two weeks, and saying, “Here. For rent.” She cried. I did not understand why at the time. Now I do. It was not the money. It was the proof that someone understood.

We also laughed a lot. When the water heater broke, we laughed. When the car broke down, we laughed. My mom used to say, “If we can laugh about it, we can survive it.” She was right.

Why this connects to housing

Plenty of moves are not chosen. The rent goes up again, the landlord sells the building, the payment becomes too much. I have watched people pack up a household in a weekend because they could not afford to stay.

Published data shows how common the pressure is for one-parent households. Statista reports that about one in four U.S. children under 18 live with a single parent (Statista), and Bowling Green State University’s family-structure research reports that most of those children live with their mother (Bowling Green State University). A 2026 LendingTree analysis found that 39 percent of single parents own their homes, compared with 73.7 percent of two-parent households, and that single parents who rent spend nearly 41 percent of their income on housing, well above the commonly used 30 percent affordability guideline (LendingTree).

Affordability pressure is reshaping households more broadly. Redfin reported that about 6 percent of Americans who struggled to afford housing in mid-2025 moved in with their parents and another 6 percent took on roommates (Redfin). NAR’s 2025 Profile of Home Buyers and Sellers reported that the share of recent buyers with children under 18 at home fell to 24 percent, a record low, and that single buyers made up a substantial share of the market (National Association of REALTORS®).

The bottom line

I am not writing this to make anyone sad. I am writing it because I think understanding where people come from matters, especially in this business. When I walk through a home with a client, I am not only thinking about square footage. I am thinking about what that home represents to the person in front of me: years of saving, a fresh start, or a move they did not choose. Everyone deserves the same care in that process, whatever their household looks like.

And I am thinking about my mom, who taught me that home is not only a place. It is the people who love you. So if you still have the chance, call your mom. Have dinner together without phones. You never know when the home you have right now is the one you will miss the most.